The Academy of Unseen Arts is a focal point for many of the storylines in Chilling Adventures of Sabrina. Sabrina’s willingness to attend is a major issue in the first season, and her conflicts with the administration and other students can get intense.
But this academy has some structural issues compared to other witchcraft schools like Hogwarts. Some of its design may be unique and interesting, like the fact that it’s a religious private school of magic. But it still has to function as a school to be believable, and that’s where it runs into a few issues. Here are some of the more questionable aspects of Sabrina’s second school.
The Duration of Study
There are students at the academy who are said to be near a century old, including Prudence. But Sabrina starts going there at 16, and the ghosts of the harrowed children appear younger. Exactly how long is the school track? It’s clearly more than four years, but what are they even doing all that time? Do they have an R&D division trying to create new spells? It is stated that the acheron configuration was Edward Spellman’s thesis, but it’s never clarified how long it takes to graduate, or what the requirements or major fields of study are.
The Mostly Invisible Faculty
The Church of Night seems pretty small in the show. Even when they’re all gathered in the first and second seasons, there don’t seem to be many of them. But that’s no excuse to only show faculty as extras or a handful of power players. Lady Blackwood was married to the high priest, Blackwood was the high priest, and Zelda is Sabrina’s aunt. The only other faculty named is quickly killed by Hilda for threatening her sister. A couple of warlocks are seen when Zelda is introduced to the faculty, but they mostly don’t seem to exist.
The Location
It makes sense that an academy would’ve been started in New England because that area was colonized before the rest of the US. But they didn’t have to stay there, and really shouldn’t have. The Church of Night conceals their academy by making it look like an abandoned train station, but it would make more sense to just relocate to a far less populated area. No one would look for them if they just picked some random spot in the desert out West. It would be a lot easier to hide.
Some of the Subjects
Certainly, normal schools have choir and theater classes or extracurriculars. However, does this particular academy really need those? Given how long their studies appear to take, it might be wise to knock a few things off their schedules, and these don’t seem necessary for witchcraft. It would also free up the faculty used for those classes to teach something else. Maybe these just aren’t mandatory? It could make more sense as an extracurricular activity since they seem to be stuck there for quite some time, and it could get very boring without hobbies.
It Has A Dungeon
The dungeon has been used a few times in the three seasons of the show, but why does the academy have one in the first place? If the Church wants to have a jail of some sort, why in the world would they decide that their academy is the best place for it?
Okay, they don’t seem overly concerned with the welfare of their students given the tradition of harrowing. But they still could’ve picked a better place. What scholastic reason do they have to justify their existence here? Trapping goblins? And why are the students able to access it without supervision?
They Never Have Exams
The show isn’t really about Sabrina’s schooling. But it’s still a little weird that she never has an upcoming test at the academy except when running for Top Girl or when Blackwood’s messing with her. Maybe that’s why it takes them so long to graduate. And she never seems to have other assignments, either; no potions to brew, no papers to write. At some point they must have their knowledge tested, but how does the academy do this? Is it more of a practicum than a theory test? Nothing has been shown yet, and now that the academy is depleted of students, it may never happen.
Class Is Always In Session
There’s a difference between a year and a school year. Maybe this is a modern invention, but it’s still a bit strange that the academy always seems to be holding classes until most of the coven is destroyed. Part of this could be explained by its nature as a private religious school. It makes sense that they would spend holidays like Lupercalia at the academy because the Church of Night owns the academy and would hold their services there. But that doesn’t explain the seeming lack of vacation time. It’s unclear what they consider a school year.
No Off-Campus Culture
The students of the academy do sometimes go into Greendale, but this is mostly in times of crisis when they’re trying to save or destroy something. Most of the visits are to the Spellman house. What in the world do they do for fun? They can’t just stay on campus all the time to avoid humans. It’s not clear what they do for recreational purposes. There is Dorian’s Gray Room, but that has its limits in entertainment. Do they play games? Are there witch sports? Do they go conjure random crap together?
Housekeeping
The faculty aren’t the only ones largely invisible in the show. For the academy to be a boarding school, they have to have some practical things like housekeeping and catering, but these people don’t seem to exist either. Laundry would certainly be essential if the students are expected to wear uniforms, and some of the students like Prudence seem to wear the same clothes frequently.
As for the catering, are there specific witch foods? There’s a dining hall at least, but what are they serving and who’s serving it?
Nobody Has Parents
It’s clear that the students of the academy are often much older than Sabrina, but it’s still weird that none of them seem to have parents. Prudence believed she was an orphan, Agatha and Dorcas are orphans, Nick’s parents are dead, and even Sabrina’s parents are dead. Then there are the background students, whose parents never seem to appear even when the coven is under attack. Maybe Satanic witches aren’t that concerned about their offspring, or just feel their kids are old enough to be responsible for their own education. Shouldn’t they at least care a little when the Dark Lord shows up?
